Hi friends! Today, we’re thinking about Catholic families—parents are the primary catechists of their children, but how do we actually do that? We asked this question to Jennifer Stavinoha, Co-Director of Ablaze Families, and her response was perfect: Help your kids engage with the Mass.
Christie and I loved that response since our focus is on creating beautiful Mass journals for Catholics! (P.S. our new journals just launched here!)
In this post, Jennifer walks you through a simple but game-changing weekly habit you can build with your own family—even just in the car on the way to Mass.
Thank you for joining us in saying “Yes!” to God, one Sunday at a time!
Leading our children to Christ
Guest post by Jennifer Stavinoha
As a child, I oscillated between a wide range of career options: vet, interior designer, Olympic figure skater, marine biologist, and doctor, just to name a few. I could imagine myself petting a scared puppy, or skating in front of a roaring crowd, or adding just the right piece to finish off a room, all at the same time. The only part of “future Jennifer’s” life that was consistent in every scenario was this: motherhood. I knew that one day, I wanted to be a mom and have kids, but admittedly my vision of being a mom was a little fuzzy. I’m not sure what I expected parenthood to be, but there are so many things about it that I never would have anticipated, for both good and bad.
The tough stuff is easy to list—just hop on Instagram and watch any mom creator and her videos recounting the (sometimes hilarious) difficulties. But the good stuff—the stuff that gives us a glimpse of how our children lead us to heaven not only by purifying us through suffering, but by the simple joys and curiosities they bring to our lives—this is worth leaning into.
One of the greatest joys my children give me is the opportunity to share the love of Christ with them. I am their parent, and they trust me and my husband above all other people. Who else in my life will absorb my words and actions like they will? They copy both my bad habits and good. I see myself reflected in my 5 year old as I watch her strive for perfection or let fear get in the way. I also see how she prays a silent prayer every time she hears an ambulance, and how she gives her little sisters a night time blessing. These small actions that she sees me do are becoming a part of who she is. And with every prayer, she connects more deeply to Jesus. The thought that I am “cooperating” with God in bringing my children to heaven is an honor.
Writer, theologian, and Catholic mom Jennifer Stavinoha and her beautiful family!
The Church says that as parents, we are our child’s “primary catechists,” which means that it is primarily up to us to teach them about the faith. This calling is both exciting and terrifying. I don’t have all the answers, not even close—and I have a Master’s degree in Theology! God knows that we all have limitations and shortcomings and baggage. He knows the wounds I have from my own parent’s divorce, my tendency to jealousy, and my need to tell someone when they’re wrong. And yet, God entrusted my children—HIS children—to me anyway.
One of the best opportunities I have for bringing my children to Jesus is through the Mass. How ironic that the very thing many Catholic parents struggle with the most is one of the most effective avenues for grace in the family. I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with new parents asking me, “How do I get my kids to behave at Mass?” I wish I had a magic solution for behavior at Mass, but I don’t. What I do know, though, is that the Mass is still a place for you to belong, and it is still a place where your kids belong.
This means that rather than behavior modification (“sit still and be quiet”) seek rather to engage them in what is going on. It might mean accepting that your own experience at Mass will look different, but the reward in the long run is worth it. Do you have littles? Have them count the candles, or find Mary. Make a big deal during the transubstantiation and point out the bread becoming Jesus’ body. Do you have middles? Help them read along with the readings, follow the music notes in the missal with their finger, or draw a picture of something that stood out to them about the Gospel. Do you have teens? Find a way for them to serve at Mass, whether in the choir, or as an usher, or a greeter. Have a conversation about the homily or the readings afterwards. If you kids can write, they can have an Every Sacred Sunday journal of their own!
If possible, read the Gospel reading (for example in your ESS Mass journal as pictured above) before diving into the questions in the family discussion guide—but if you don’t have time that week we’ve included a short Gospel synopsis in the guide!
Discussing the readings as a family is another pivotal way to help your kids engage with Mass—but where to start? To take the guesswork out of it, we made you an exclusive freebie just for this month of July 2022!
Scroll below to access the Every Sacred Family Mass Discussion Guide—save it to your phone, print it out, or text it to your spouse. It has Gospel-focused discussion questions for each upcoming Sunday in July. You can use this resource before Mass (at dinner the night before Mass or in the car on the way to Mass is perfect), or you can use it after Mass to digest and go a little deeper.
Use this resource in a way that best fits your family. If one question leads to another fruitful conversation, go where the Holy Spirit leads you! It’s okay not to get through every question, rather the point is to listen to what God wants to say to you and your family through the readings, and to grow closer to God and one another through them.
This Catholic family-focused resource is a collaborative effort between Ablaze Families and Every Sacred Sunday—we hope it helps you take the next step to building your own “Every Sacred Family” guided by the Holy Spirit! We will be praying for you and your family this month, that the Holy Spirit will lead you to fruitful conversations, and a renewed love for God and one another.