The associated reading for this reflection can be found in your Every Sacred Sunday Mass journal or online here.
Late last year, after many months of declining health, misdiagnosis of anxiety, sleep apnea, and asthma, our new family doctor was able to pinpoint the cause of my health issues: a rare and aggressive form of thyroid cancer. The days that followed were a roller coaster of emotions. Grief, sadness, denial- I felt them all. I soon received more bad news: my path to healing included a laryngectomy, which is a surgery to remove my cancer-affected vocal cords. This procedure would render me speechless, and leave a hole in my neck to breathe through.
More than being a missionary and public speaker whose livelihood revolves around talking, it would also mean finding a new way of communicating day to day. No more cheering loudly for my beloved Boston Celtics. No more singing loudly during worship. No more whispering sweet nothings to my spouse. No more normal voice. Imagine the devastation.
After many healing pray-overs and countless hours praying for a miracle, I was convinced the surgeon would open me up and find my voice box cancer-free.
But that is not what happened.
I woke up a day or two after surgery grasping with my new reality. The days, weeks, and months that have since passed have not been easy, to say the least. I experienced a muted sense of taste, as someone who loves to eat and break bread with people. I have puke-inducing coughing fits that suck the energy out of me, and that elicit stares in public. And when things were really bad, I would even plead to the Lord to take my life and end my misery. In more ways than one, my life feels like an empty tomb of what it once was.
I can relate a lot to Mary Magdalene, who saw her beloved Lord suffer and die a horrible execution, and could not even get a proper burial. She then experiences the shock of finding the tomb empty. Imagine the grief, pain, and questions she must have directed to God at that time. I imagine that it felt like never-ending suffering.
For those facing life-altering diseases like cancer, those displaced by conflict, those affected by divorce, those whose loved ones have recently passed, those whose debt seems insurmountable, those who just lost their jobs: for those of us who are still going through this valley of tears there are days where it does feel like the tomb is empty.
And yet, the empty tomb points to a more glorious reality- that Christ has indeed claimed victory over death and sin! Mary Magdalene and the other Apostles will soon discover this, but not yet. The tomb might feel empty for now, for us who walk this valley of tears. But victory has already been won, through the emptiness. This is enough to give me – us – hope. The empty tomb is not a lost cause, but rather a testament of God’s greatness. Thus, today is the day of all days worthy of celebration because the tomb is indeed empty because He is risen!
My Lord who is truly risen and left the tomb empty. I come to You with my own empty tomb. I bring to You my sadness, despair, and this particular intention. I know in Your own mysterious way, You will bring about my sanctification that will lead me to You. I know that while I walk in this Valley of Tears, that whether I will see glory here in this life, or in the next – I will place my hope in You, who is my sure foundation. Amen.
Kevin Muico is a missionary and speaker based in Calgary, Alberta in Canada. Together with his wife Tisa, they own Friends in High Places - a small business built around their friendship with the saints. When Kevin is not traveling on mission, he likes making coffee for Tisa, taking care of their plants, and playing video games. Come say hi on Instagram or hop on over to Kevin’s discord for some pray and play.