The associated reading for this reflection can be found in your Every Sacred Sunday Mass journal or online here.
“But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones; I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it.”
Jeremiah 20:9
Our humanness hurts. This part of Jeremiah’s interior crisis expresses our human desire to conform and results in the heaviness of not sharing the truth that we hold in our hearts. Throughout high school and college, I despised eating on campus because I never wanted anyone to see me pray before I ate. Making the sign of the cross was repeatedly marking myself as a follower of Christ which invited anyone to mock or confront me about my beliefs. However, as much as not publicly praying made me comfortable, it physically made my heart ache.
There is no doubt that our fallen nature is a part of being earth side. We have the freedom to choose who we love, how we love, and what we do with that love. With this incredible gift comes the responsibility to discern what is His will and what is our own. Every day God calls us to offer ourselves as a living sacrifice. That sacrifice will look different for everyone. It may be sacrificing our own pride to pray publicly or carving out time to read His word. It may look like being more patient with your parents or your kids. In 2020, it may look like choosing to encourage, affirm, and show gratitude to our neighbor in all circumstances.
With sacrifice comes suffering.
In our Gospel today, Jesus explains to His disciples the suffering He will endure in His Passion. Peter rebukes Jesus, and Christ responds, saying, “You are not thinking as God does, but as human beings do.” Reading this was like a That’s So Raven moment to when Peter later denies Jesus three times. But here Jesus defines the call to discipleship: to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him. The wood of our crosses are all different, but our Lord knows them well, and what we offer up to Him does not go unnoticed. When we find ourselves conformed and imprisoned by our world, let us follow the compassion and guidance of our Lord. If compassion means "to suffer with," may we unite our every suffering with His.
Let us pray together today: Lord, let me carry this living cross and follow you. May I cry out to you when I cannot endure it. With this cross I carry, I give you permission to transform, to renew, and to restore. Amen.