The associated reading for this reflection can be found in your Every Sacred Sunday Mass journal or online here.
When I was in the 7th grade, my parents got a divorce.
The effect on me was immediate. I wasn’t naïve; I knew that my parents were fairly poorly matched to begin with, and how they even got together in the first place remains a complete mystery. Enter the lies:
“Your parents never should have been married.”
“They never should have started a family.”
“You should not exist.”
Well into adulthood, I believed that if God’s perfect will had been carried out among my parents, then I should not be alive. But consider this: so many events in the Bible would be different if it hadn’t been for God working through sinners. Look at Jesus’ own genealogy! Adam and Eve. Judah. Tamar. Rahab. David and Bathsheba. King Ahaz. There is an Old Testament full of them. So many “should-not-have-beens” and should-not-have-dones.
The many options of readings today highlight some important questions: Why did God allow Abraham and Sarah to be barren for so many years, knowing He would bring about a child through their union? Why did God keep Simeon’s life hanging on by a thread for so long, knowing the exact day and time Jesus was to be born? Why does God command us to honor our parents, when He knows that many of us have sinful, broken, or even toxic relationships with them?
The answer, I believe, is the same: to show us that God brings beauty from ashes. This doesn’t mean that the ashes are good or that we embrace sin because we know God can make good come from evil. It also doesn’t mean intentionally putting ourselves in the path of a harmful relationship. It simply means that God’s promises are stronger than the circumstances. And not only that, but God can’t wait to fulfill them.
Do we consider God’s promises as a half-hearted agreement, reluctantly making everything fit together like a puzzle piece forced into the wrong space? What if God wanted to fulfill His promises? And maybe He will bring something more beautiful and powerful and lovely because of the pain.
In gazing upon my own children, I know without a shadow of a doubt that they are supposed to exist. With a genealogy of brokenness behind them, they are the pearls from the grain of sand, the diamonds from mounted pressure. Knowing so much of what has gone before them, their loveliness is that much more precious.
All the honor and glory and praise belongs to You, Lord! Who, when we were considered “as good as dead,” brought forth stars.
Jennifer Stavinoha lives in Bryan, TX with her husband and three little girls. She loves reading, experimenting in the kitchen, and judging international figure skating from her couch. Jennifer is the Co-Director for Ablaze Ministries’ parent outreach ministry, Beyond the Pew. To find out more, check out the Beyond the Pew Facebook group, Instagram or website. Connect with Jennifer on Instagram.