The associated reading for this reflection can be found in your Every Sacred Sunday Mass journal or online here.
Jesus said to his disciples:
“When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. … But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden.”
Lord, are you saying that my husband and I can forget about fasting today — Valentine’s Day — and go out on a grand date, lest we look gloomy like the hypocrites?
Of course not. Today we are still obligated (happily!) to fast and abstain. But I think there’s a really beautiful witness to be had with St. Valentine’s Day falling on Ash Wednesday (again — maybe we just needed the reminder?).
The most popular Valentine legend says after third-century Roman Emperor Claudius II outlawed marriage, Fr. Valentine continued to marry couples in secret. He recognized that marriage is a sacrament instituted by God, meaning the state didn’t have the authority to ban it at all. Despite his courage, Valentine was ultimately discovered and beheaded.
A different Valentine legend is known about a man who helped Christians escape from prison. He was eventually caught, imprisoned, and there he fell in love with the jailer’s daughter. He would write her love letters and, prior to his execution, signed one as “From your Valentine.”
When you think about it, third-century couples married under Fr. Valentine experienced their own “fasting.” They married in secret, without 100 of their closest friends, and certainly without a four-hour reception with music and dancing.
Similarly, layman Valentine fell in love from behind jail bars. Despite his circumstances, he did not close off his heart. He lived for Christ and His Church, to the point of death, and still allowed himself to hope.
Those who inspired our Valentine’s Day celebrations knew how to fast. They knew how to deny themselves the pleasures of life while still offering praise and gratitude. They married, they fell in love, and they persevered. They could have given up in their circumstances but instead trusted God.
My husband and I will be celebrating St. Valentine’s Day by going to Mass. We will be given ashes on our foreheads. We will fast. We will abstain. We will receive the Eucharist into our bodies as we prepare for this penitential season.
We will still celebrate our love, as the martyred Valentines would want; just as God wants.
And we will continue to celebrate Christ, full of joy, each moment of these 40 days.
Happy Saint Valentine’s Ash Wednesday!
Marissa Rankin is a classical singer in Nashville, Tennessee. She and her husband live with their rescue pup, Ewok, and share their home with foster dogs. She is the creator and founder of Covenant Co., a series of resources for engaged and married Catholics, where she aspires to help Catholic couples and remind the Church that marriage is a vocation, too!