The associated reading for this reflection can be found in your Every Sacred Sunday Mass journal or online here.
Whoa. Some readings sting more than others. Every time I read this Gospel passage from Matthew, something in me feels like it needs to die. It makes me think of those situations in my life when I have complained like one of the laborers who felt he deserved more because he had worked more hours than the others.
The other day I was ironing the linens for our chapel, and all of sudden I was overwhelmed with feeling so small. I felt like I was forgotten by God and by my community. All I could say was, like one of the laborers in today’s Gospel, “Jesus, have I not worked hard enough? Did you forget about me?” I tried to push away this feeling and kept ironing away.
One of the things that I have been struggling with is the fear of being abandoned. I am afraid to be forgotten. I think this is a common fear that comes in many shapes and sizes. I try to accept my feelings and surrender myself to Jesus by handing Him all that is hurting me and placing it on the altar. Sometimes, when the time is right, with grace of God, I can bring it into the light by talking it out with someone.
In the light of today’s Gospel, I noticed how the landowner went out to hire laborers. He went out at dawn, at nine, noon time, at three, and at five. He could have asked his foreman but instead he did what was necessary. It feels like Jesus is showing me something that is true about Him. He is seeking me constantly and saying to me, “You too go into my vineyard.”
This Christ is really not just looking for laborers; He is after our hearts to mold them to be like His. He seeks us out every day and invites us to participate in the vineyard. So that day, ironing the linens, I chose to trust, even in doing what seems so small. It may not be big-spotlight-grandeur kind of work, but Jesus invites you, too. It’s not too late. There is always a place for us in the vineyard.
Jesus, help me to remember at this moment that I am loved as I am. I surrender all, no matter how small. Use me for your glory.
Sr. Putri Magdalena Mamesah is a sister with the Daughters of St. Paul. She lives in Virginia and currently her ministry is in outreach and evangelization. She enjoys hand-lettering and anything about St. Mary Magdalene. Come say hi on Instagram!