The associated reading for this reflection can be found in your Every Sacred Sunday Mass journal or online here.
The scene described in today’s Gospel fills me with awe, as I picture a young girl approached by a powerful angel with such stunning news. It’s almost unbelievable that her response is so rich with surrender, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”
This is my first year experiencing Advent while pregnant. I have been thrilled to journey through the Advent season with Mary, expecting with her and sharing the joy and anticipation.
But joy isn’t all I’m feeling this time around. My previous pregnancy with my twins was complicated, which included a traumatic birth and an extended hospital stay as I was treated for postpartum preeclampsia, with one son in the NICU. It was painful, shattering my hopes and expectations of a peaceful, smooth birth experience. After months of prayer and preparation, asking God for a specific kind of birth, I struggled with anger and grief at the reality of my experience.
This second time around, I feel fear creeping in as the due date approaches. It’s hard not to remember the pain of it.
And then I read Mary’s words and my eyes fill with tears.
O Lord, how I long to unite my suffering with Yours. How I long to surrender like Mary did, to carry this child with grace, with fortitude. Please, help me to be more like Mary.
One of my favorite parts of the Catholic faith is the concept of redemptive suffering, the act of uniting our suffering to Christ’s suffering on the cross. My birth was traumatic, and I believe it contributed greatly to the months of postpartum depression that followed. However, even in the darkest moments, I knew Jesus was there. Many times, I pictured His piercing eyes staring at me from the cross.
There was a purpose to it all.
Today I look at my husband and my two beautiful sons and feel in awe of them, the life that we share, and the simple beauty of it. I would go through my birth a thousand times over to have them. This time around, my prayer is one of surrender. May I be obedient to Your will, God. May my life and motherhood serve You, and may I surrender wholeheartedly like Mary did, guided by Your grace.
Katherine Cimorelli is a musician and writer, playing music and writing with her sisters in the band Cimorelli for over 14 years. Cimorelli is an internationally-known band who has written and recorded several albums, toured in many countries around the world, and wrote a book, Believe In You: Big Sister Stories and Advice on Living Your Best Life. Katherine lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband Max, identical twin toddlers Dominic and Leopold, and a baby on the way due Holy Thursday 2024.