Hi friends! I’m taking my rambunctious toddler to Mass on my own this weekend — eeek! Have y’all experienced this? Going to Mass as a family with my daughter, husband, brother, and sister-in-law is usually one of my favorite times of the week — but I’ll be the first to admit it feels like a totally different ballgame when I’m flying solo with a toddler! The other week at Mass she noticed a stained glass window with a rooster (a symbol of Peter) and let out her best “cock-a-doodle-dooooo!” during one of the quietest moments of the Mass - Sometimes all we can do is laugh!
But in all seriousness, to give me a bit of encouragement I was reading over this recent post from Jennifer Stavinoha, Head Content Creator for Ablaze families. Reading her wisdom on raising Catholic kids was exactly what I needed, so I pulled out her top 5 tips below — I hope they’re as helpful for y’all as they were for me!
Sending a hug from Houston! -Kassie
Writer, theologian, and Catholic mom Jennifer Stavinoha shares her top 5 tips for raising Catholic kids!
1. Accept your role as “primary catechist”
The Church says that as parents, we are our child’s “primary catechists,” which means that it is primarily up to us to teach them about the faith. This calling is both exciting and terrifying. I don’t have all the answers, not even close—and I have a Master’s degree in Theology! God knows that we all have limitations and shortcomings and baggage. He knows the wounds I have from my own parent’s divorce, my tendency to jealousy, and my need to tell someone when they’re wrong. And yet, God entrusted my children—HIS children—to me anyway.
2. Go to Mass as a family
One of the best opportunities I have for bringing my children to Jesus is through the Mass. How ironic that the very thing many Catholic parents struggle with the most is one of the most effective avenues for grace in the family. I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with new parents asking me, “How do I get my kids to behave at Mass?” I wish I had a magic solution for behavior at Mass, but I don’t. What I do know, though, is that the Mass is still a place for you to belong, and it is still a place where your kids belong.
3. Help your kids participate at Mass
Rather than behavior modification (“sit still and be quiet”) my goal is to engage my kids at Mass in age-appropriate ways. This is a big mindset shift! It might mean accepting that your own experience at Mass will look different, but the reward in the long run is worth it. Do you have littles? Have them count the candles, or find Mary. Make a big deal during the transubstantiation and point out the bread becoming Jesus’ body. Do you have middles? Help them read along with the readings, follow the music notes in the missal with their finger, or draw a picture of something that stood out to them about the Gospel. Do you have teens? Find a way for them to serve at Mass, whether in the choir, or as an usher, or a greeter. If you kids can write, they can have an Every Sacred Sunday Mass journal of their own!
Reflecting on the readings before Mass (for example in an ESS Mass journal as pictured above) and taking notes on the homily (for older children and adults) can be the starting point for family conversations
4. Discuss the Mass readings as a family
Discussing the readings as a family is another great way to help your kids engage with Mass! Start with just pre-reading the Gospels — either at dinner the night before Mass or even in the car on the way to Mass is the perfect way to start! By hearing the readings before Mass kids will have an easier time listening for the reading at Mass, and older children will benefit from hearing parents discuss the readings with each other. If you’re not sure where to start, Every Sacred Family: A 52 Week Catholic Mass Discussion Guide is a great resource!
5. Lead by example throughout the week
One of the greatest joys my children give me is the opportunity to share the love of Christ with them. I am their parent, and they trust me and my husband above all other people. Who else in my life will absorb my words and actions like they will? They copy both my bad habits and good. I see myself reflected in my 5 year old as I watch her strive for perfection or let fear get in the way. I also see how she prays a silent prayer every time she hears an ambulance, and how she gives her little sisters a night time blessing. These small actions that she sees me do are becoming a part of who she is. And with every prayer, she connects more deeply to Jesus. The thought that I am “cooperating” with God in bringing my children to heaven is an honor! That is why it is so important that my kids see me praying and preparing for Mass throughout the week. My own Mass journal is a mess of scribbles and crayon marks — which I remind myself is ok! I’m glad they want to be involved and they regularly see their parents setting aside time to pray.
Jennifer shared these pictures of her ESS Mass journal - Catholic parenting in action can be messy but it’s still worthy and beautiful!!
I hope y’all loved these tips from Jennifer as much as I did - I’m already feeling more encouraged for flying solo to Mass with my little lady this weekend! Hugs from Houston - Kassie
Want more? Click the links below for further reading and thanks for being part of our ESS fam!